“Weekend Healer” | Independent Movie Review

Langdon Alger | Independent Movie Review

I don’t know what to say about Weekend Healer. I just watched it and I’m so fucking conflicted. Perhaps the fact that I’m cursing in the review means something. Perhaps I should just say what I mean and not try to be nice about it. That just made me laugh. If you watch the movie perhaps you’ll know why.

I would love to think that Weekend Healer is this psychological mind fuck of a script that was intentionally directed and edited so that once every five minutes the story was advanced forward, but those four minutes in between were meant to be torturous, so that perhaps you could even remotely begin to feel what “Marky Mark” and “Katie Holmes” were feeling in their relationship that anybody could tell from the first scene had died a long time ago, but I can not accept the fact that this was done intentionally unfortunately, but maybe I’m wrong. I do not know.

Weekend Healer is about this young couple that is set to go away for a weekend excursion to a secluded house in the woods for some much needed couple alone time. However once they get to the perfect retreat the owner of the house’s son arrives unannounced on his way through on his travels and three’s a crowd to way over simplify things.

Mark, played perfectly by David Ryan Kinsman, is kind of high strung or passive aggressive or a horrible boyfriend, but don’t take my word for it. Mark’s girlfriend Katie, played fantastically by Liberty Hills, proceeds to tell him to “pull the pole out of his asshole” on a fun game of “tell your partner what’s wrong with them” on the ride to the cabin.

Katie has her flaws, but you feel pretty bad for her till about two thirds of the way through the movie when I found myself wanting Mark to just leave her at the cabin in the woods with the psychotically annoying creepy mother fucker Rob played very well by Nick Pages-Oliver.

Just when I thought the movie was gonna go to where I thought it was leading the whole time, it goes back for yet another round of more of the same, until the obvious conclusion that I thought was unexpectedly absolutely brilliant, no joke, and made me not mad at myself anymore for having watched the project. I literally have no fucking idea what I just watched or what I am thinking. Brilliant or a waste of four fifths of my time. I have no idea.


There wasn’t really anything wrong with this movie technically maybe. The cinematography was very nice. The sound was very good as well. However, actually when we were meeting Rob, he rambled a lot so that audio was kind of like, what the fuck is he saying, but if we are going with the once every five minutes you needed to hear the advancement of story then who the hell cares what he said during the rambling.

However I guess on that note, if they weren’t going with the once every five minutes model somebody needs to take Rob’s axe, that I’m pretty sure he does actually have, to the edit and chop a whole bunch of stuff from the project. So yeah, it’s your call if Weekend Healer is technically all right or not, but it doesn’t matter to me, because as of this sentence, if I learned one thing from this movie, I’m moving on.